Gotta get a Ruffneck? Or, Do you really just want a Strong, Solid Provider?
Listen to the podcast. Read the article. They compliment one another.
This episode discusses the desire for a strong, solid provider and damage of the women’s liberation movement/feminism’s exaltation of the sensitive male/emo.
Let’s read scripture to set this discussion in its proper context. These scriptures are about Biblical Marriage, Husband’s Role as Provider and Protecter, Husband’s Role as an Intimate Life Partner and Friend, and Wife’s Submission to Her Husband.
Biblical Marriage
Genesis 2:21-25
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Ephesians Chapter 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Husband’s Role as an Intimate Life Partner and Friend
Malachi 2:14-16
14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Ephesians 5:31-33
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Husband’s Role as Provider and Protecter
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:25-30
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Wife’s Submission to Her Husband
Ephesians Chapter 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ruffneck is a reflection of failed Feminism and the exaltation of the Sensitive Male/Emo
Feminism the is punishment that resulted from patriarchal extremism and patriarchal abuse. This abuse includes the abuse of women and their sinful rebellion against GOD’s commandment in other aspects of life. The ancient Israelites experienced such punish:
Isaiah 3:8-12
8 For Jerusalem is ruined, and Judah is fallen: because their tongue and their doings are against the LORD, to provoke the eyes of his glory. 9 The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves. 10 Say ye to the righteous, that it shall be well with him: for they shall eat the fruit of their doings. 11 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. 12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Some men abused the authority given to them in their roles as head of household and leaders in society. They demeaned and subjugated women to the extent that women have been basically robbed of the right to be the individuals that GOD created each of us to be. Men basically demands us to be perfect according their whims and flights of fancy – the lusts of their flesh, the lusts of their eyes and their unrighteous, vainglorious, pride. This goes against GOD’s Will for the relationship between man and woman.
In an interview, actor Dustin Hoffman stated that when he filmed the movie Tootsie, he truly began to understand how women felt. He, as the character Tootsie, cross-dressed to get an acting job and then fell in love with his female co-worker that thought that he was real woman like her. While of the set, dressed as Tootsie, he said that he felt so ugly, rejected, and unworthy because of the way that other men treated him. You see Tootsie wasn’t considered to be beautiful and she was made to look older. Here is his interview.
Dustin Hoffman on Tootsie
Perosnally, I can completely relate to him. In basic sense, I’m the person that GOD made to be, yet GOD is still shaping me to be who made me to be in totality. Please be patient with me, for GOD is not through with me yet. This is the case with all of us.
Speaking on my physical looks, I’m beautiful but not perfect. I have a pudgy belly, a mean resting “B” face – people should NEVER try to read my face – usually don’t look the way that I feel. Often, I look like I’m glaring at something that’s when one both of my eyes are aligned,lol. Either, one moves to the side while the other stays straight. Though many guys approach me. There are many more that, in the past, have treated me like Igor or the Hunchback of Notre Dame. This happened alot of when I was overweight. Even my extended family constantly attacked me about my weight, like I was huge embarrassment to them.
These are pictures of me from when I was overweight
Along the time that I first went natural. I did the big chop and started over with growing my hair.Me with my friends – 8 years oldFirst Grade – 6 years old
Even though I was overweight, there were alot guys that asked me out. However, there are many other who treated me like I was an ogre. These were guys that I didn’t even notice was alive until they went out their way to approach me with disrespect. This was very hurtful. I’m so glad that Dustin Hoffman shared his experience. Some men can be so vicious and vile when they don’t find you attractive. They have the mindset of a eugencist. They treat you as if you are worthless – aren’t worth living if they don’t find you worthy. They act as if you don’t have a right to exist nor to be your own person unless you can be an asset to them in some way. Even if you don’t know them. They act as if you only exist to make their lives lovely, even if you’re just something pretty to watch from a distance. Otherwise, you’re despised. You’re viewed as opposition. It’s narcissistically psychotic. They feel as if their lack of interest in a womab gives them a right to be disrespectful and abusive. They abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and professionally. This is the problem that spurred the feminist movement.
Essentially, many men have used their position in the society’s hierarchical structure to be socially and economically abusive. Jesus was adamantly against this behavior:
Matthew 5:27-32
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 19:3-12
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Enter Feminism
GOD has a plan for each woman and it is not to be a sex object created only to fulfil the lusts of men. GOD didn’t create every woman to have children either. Jesus says that in the last days those who aren’t pregnant or have a baby should be glad due to believers needing to be mobile for their own safety. Like the men of ancient Israel many became abusive and exploitative of women, even to the point that women’s options of economic survival and maintaining their independence became extremely limited. Violence against women was accepted as not only a norm, but a sport! Sexual abuse including incest and molestation was pervasive and often hidden – taboo. Some husbands were beating and killing their wives and raping their daughters simultaneously. Women had had enough! They fought for their rights chose men whom they perceived to be more willing to be a fair and equal partner. They thought that they found this in the sensitive male.
Backfire of the Sensitive Male
Sensitive males are men who are emotionally immature, self-centered, and detrimentally compromising. Not necesssarily take self-confident, take-charge, assertive, nor
The sensitive male is not fit to rule a household until he emotionally matures. Until then, he acts like a manchild. He seeks to fulfil his needs first and foremost and doesn’t carr if he leaves a trail of destruction. When things get complicated or obstacles come their way, they leave. They run off and don’t care about who is depending on them. He carelessly makes decisions without considering the consequences of the impact of those decisions on others.
Settling for the Economic Stability and False Security of the Ruffneck
Before we discuss the Ruffneck in detail, let’s look at the lyrics to Ruffneck.
The Ruffneck VS. The Sensitive Male: It’s the Same Dude
The Ruffneck has two secularly redeeming qualities – Ambition and Courage. Aside from those qualities, they aren’t much different than the sensitive male. The Ruffneck is the picture of the stereotypical, traditional, masculine male on steroids. The sensitive male is the picture of male femininity. Although they seem to be diametrically opposed, oddly enough, the sensitive male paved the way for the Ruffneck. They have many similarities. They both:
·Look outside of GOD and, even themselves, for validation.
·They often put their wants ahead of the needs of others.
·They are both self-sabotaging to the ruin of others
·Falsely Altruistic
·Manipulative
·Naricissistic
The list could go on. Yet, some Ruffnecks have these characteristics due to events and circumstances beyond their control. Until they prove that they are willing to genuinely overcome their circumstances by growing as a man. Others are sensitive male extremists whose reckless behavior is often misinterpreted as fearlessness or bravery and controlling, obsessive nature is misinterpreted as being loyal and protective. Even the Ruffneck’s violation of others for the betterment of his situation and those he knows is viewed as a by any means necessary way to provide.
Both of these men can lead you to your destruction. Let’s look at this episode of the Ray Bradbury Theatre called The Dead Man which features a sensitive male as the lead character:
As we saw , already emotionally vulnerable, due to the recent death of her mother, Miss Weldon is lead straight to her death by following the sweet yet unstable Odd Martin . She came to came to get a fresh start and get over the loss of her mother. Yet, she became enamored with a man who had no will to go on. She followed him into his death fantasy which lead her to the end of her reality until Jesus comes back. There weren’t any kind available men in town. They all seemed egotistical, self-righteous, and cold-hearted. Odd Martin battled trauma from a near-death experience, yet they laughed at him. They had no compassion. Miss Weldon did. She overly sympathize with him as she came into the realization that life as she knew it was over. With fearlessness she embarked upon a new life yet with the influence of Odd Martin’s depression and lack of will to go on, she gave into giving up as well.
Sparkle (1976) is a movie that nearly perfectly depicts the ways in which an abusive relationship with a Ruffneck can destroy one’s life. Sparkle’s sister, Sister Williams is involves with the Ruffneck drug kingpin Satin Struthers. She was already dating one of his henchman, yet she was attracted to Satin’s influence, power, authority and money. She saw him beat his current girlfriend, yet that didn’t deter her pursuit of him. She cheated on her boyfriend with Satin and didn’t even care when he walked in on them intimate. After awhile, Satin started beating her just like he beat his previous girlfriend. He also got her addicted to drugs from she eventually overdoses and dies. You can see her sing about her misery in this scene:
You want a Strong, Solid Provider that knows when and how to be Tender
Feminism indiscriminately demonized masculinity unless it is effeminate masculinity. Thus, the sensitive male was venerated. Yet, often this mis man’s main priority is himself. The demand for this type of man lead to high divorce rates, infidelity, struggling single mothers, promiscuity, cohabitation, broken-homes, and fatherless children. Desperately hungry for the basic of stabilities of the traditional balance male yet familiar with the dysfunction of the sensitive, the demand for the Ruffneck was born. He was seen to be the drama who at least gave a return on investment. Unlike the sensitive male who brings nothing but drama.
You should want a man who fears, follows, and loves GOD with all of his heart,mind, and body.
Mark 12:30
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
This man should love you as Christ loves the church. Christ didn’t beat on the church nor cheat on the church. He gave his life for the church. He stays loyal and committed to the church. You want a man who finds you and recognizes and knows that you are a good woman.
Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
You want a man who is a good provider and protector. You want a man who has the wisdom to endure and stay committed in good and bad times.
Philippians 4
1 Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. 2 I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life. 4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction. 15 Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only. 16 For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity. 17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. 18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. 19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 21 Salute every saint in Christ Jesus. The brethren which are with me greet you. 22 All the saints salute you, chiefly they that are of Caesar’s household. 23 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. (To the Philippians written from Rome, by Epaphroditus.)
Listen to the podcast. Read the article. They compliment one another.
GOD brought to my mind the fact that as much I diss hip hop culture that there are certain that I really like. A female hip hop artist in particular. I wanted to be just like her at one point. I thought and wondered “who?” I used to like MC Trouble, MC Lyte, Queen Latifah, Nikki D, and many others. I liked Missy Elliot, Eve, and Foxy Brown, too. Then, GOD her to my mind, Neneh Cherry. I loved the song Buffalo Stance and thought that Neneh was so pretty. Then, I began to realize the difference between female hip hop then and now. Honestly, it has gotten pitiful. On a side note, who made thus song that came out around 1989, this is what I remember of the chorus:
“You know boy how you make me feel, ooh my love is so so good. I say ooh la la la, ooh la la la. “
That was my jam when I was in about 4th grade. They used to play it on the radio all the time. Okay, back to the episode. I thought about how sophisticated the early Queens of Hip Hop carried themselves and then I think of the female self-exploitation that has taken over female hip hop culture and I wondered what happened. I still wonder, though I guess:
-The entertainment industry says sex sells
-Depictions of wise, strong, intelligent, black women with class and sophistication who could be feminine without being over-sexualized contradicted the narrative of the stereotypes of black women depicted and perpetuated in society.
-As mass incarceration grew courtesy of Joe Biden anti-drugs laws and Clinton and Biden’s creation of the job-outsourcing NAFTA, designed to target the disenfranchised, particularly black men, black women compromised more and more to get the men that were left.
Though hyper-sexualization disguised as feminism is propagandized as women’s empowerment, there’s nothing empowering about it. Subversion of traditional roles in relationships world to the disadvantage of women by neutralizing the power of our true femininity that empowers us to uniquely woman and a completely whole individual.
Dating and marriage becomes complicated because,on the part of women, the desire for a relationship conflicts with the natural order and pattern of dating. In other words, ladies you’re doing too much.
Innately, men hunt. They go after what they want. You want to be a challenge. The challenge is the thrill of the hunt. Otherwise you’re just feeding the cat. He lays around, gets lazy on you, ignores you. Doesn’t even try to engage with you unless he wants more food. When he is outside, he is vibrantly exploring and trying new things. When the cat is hungry, he pursues a bird with an intensity and usually doesn’t relent until he catches the bird. As long as the bird isn’t making it easy for him, he engages with the bird and doesn’t go too far from the bird. He’s content just to be in proximity of the bird.Whereas with you, he knows you’re there at his beckoning call. Notice cats have that attitude of “I own you, you ain’t going nowhere” towards their owners,lol.
When you go along to get along to get a man, you’re feeding him dry catfood. It’s ingredients are more unnatural, gmo, artifcial – its not your recipe nor and its not real food.
When you aren’t yourself with a man and don’t make him put in the effort to get to know you and appreciate how you enrich his life, he won’t genuinely fine you to be desirable. He won’t see you as that sumptuous, fresh meal that he caught.
The meal isn’t as satisfying because it isn’t 100% genuine. It is a bunch of artificial ingredients made to superficial – it looks the part and tastes similar – substitute for the real thing. It can’t take the place of the real thing. The real thing is delicious AND nutritious – it is substinance that satisfies. It is worth the wait and worth every effort. It is the difference between a home cooked meal and fast food.
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